If you have not read "Part I" I encourage you to take a moment to find it in the posts and read! This post
breaks down the joys and pains that come with the privilege of taking on the task of loving a "complicated heart." If you love someone who has been hurt or wounded deeply, your willingness to wait patiently, walk softly and lovingly whisper into their heart will bring a love and devotion unlike either of you have ever known! Below is the second article that I would like to share concerning loving a "complicated heart."
How to Love a Woman Who Has Been Through Hell & Back…
She is so WORTH IT!
We’ve all been through rough times now and then. Sometimes life kicks us in the teeth, and some of us may suffer the long-term consequences of emotional traumas. With time, all the hurt from the past can gradually become a present depression.
For a woman who’s been to hell and back, finding a worthy person who is truly able of sharing love may come as an even greater challenge than overcoming all the difficulties she’s seen before.
If you’ve met a woman like this in your life, know that she may be the best thing that has ever happened to you! It would take a lot of strength, patience, and understanding in your efforts to love a woman who‘s seen the worst of life. Yet if you don’t manifest these qualities through your everyday love, it’s not even worth trying in the first place.
A woman like this will continuously push you away. She will test you again and again and again. At times, she can be emotionally unpredictable. Despite this, you must love here anyway with all your heart.
This woman has been hurt, and you need to understand that she is afraid that she will be hurt again. Her heart may not be ready for another hard blow. Even if you try to explain this to her it may not change anything — only your sincere love can help her.
Finding both commitment and aloneness difficult, a woman in pain lives in a fragile balance for most of the time. Though she may not admit that — because such a confession would show a weakness she doesn’t want to admit, not even to herself. Sometimes, she will want you to be with her; other times, she prefers you go away.
But when this woman pushes you away, stay calm and understand her. Like floating on a boat, no amount of resistance will break the waves; only time can do that.
New experiences are difficult for such a woman. Because she doesn’t have any guidance, she is now afraid to let her guard down, and be vulnerable again. It is not your job to act as her knight in shining armor, which would only push her away, or bring her too close for her own comfort. One day, she will be empowered by your own love and brave enough to face her own fears.
Especially when she is afraid, show your love to her with full capacity.
This tender woman is used to being ridiculed or abandoned for her insecurities. Or even worse, she may have been hurt by ruthless people who instead of helping her, took advantage of those fears. So now she’s afraid of being herself, because her true self has been hurt so much in the past.
She will feel inadequate for your love.
Let it be guys. There is no need for you to prove anything to her — simply continue to love her, along with her feeling of being inadequate. As the hurt pains her, a feeling of being unprepared for the world’s challenges will emerge; this, too, is perfectly fine and will go away in time.
Her love will appear tenuous.
Oftentimes, she will not be able to see deeply what feelings are in her own heart. This woman’s tender heart has been cut too many times, and the scars are still there, waiting to be fully healed. Her previous romantic experiences have not involved love like the one you are willing to give her — so she will perceive her present situation through the prism of her past.
She is expecting you to leave her, hurt her. And even if you haven’t yet, she is timidly waiting for that moment. If it appears that you won’t do that, then her unconscious actions will start to sabotage your relationship; don’t worry about that, just love her anyway.
Whether she seeks to love you or to hurt you, your love must be unconditional.
She needs to be in control.
Sometimes, this need of hers may manifest in the form of abuse aimed at you. Again, be aware and calm, don’t react to this, and continue to love her anyway. She is simply acting out against feeling powerless, trying to restore a certain sense of control — being capable to do something about her present situation.
When times are easy, your love must be there and keep her secure. When it’s harder, love her twice as much.
You have chosen each other, for better or for worse.
And even when it’s looking worse, even when things seem anything but bright, your love will help you pull everything off and your love will carry you both through.